Tainted
by Kanamizaki
Summary: Hiccup grew up with a reason to hate alcohol. He wants nothing to do about it. So when the person he loves about more in the world starts drinking, the thought and memories breaks his heart.


"You know how much I hate it, Jack!" Hiccup yelled at his boyfriend. Tears of frustration were starting to appear in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall.

"What is the big deal about it!? It's just a little drinking that's all! Why are you acting so dramatic!?" Jack replied, finding it ridiculous that Hiccup got so angry over just being a little drunk during his a holiday party his family was hosting.

"You know exactly what the big deal is!"

"Ugh! You're being so _stupid_!" Jack yelled, throwing his arms up in the air in exaggeration.

"Me!?" Hiccup yelled back. He didn't want to deal with this anymore. "You know what, I'm done!" He was ready to throw the closest thing at his beloved. Sure he was beyond pissed off, but he really didn't want to regret it later. Meaning Hiccup really wanted to hurt Jack because he himself was really hurt. But he wasn't that kind of person to go that far.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Jack roughly turned Hiccup around by the shoulder. Probably too roughly by the actually painful shove he got from the smaller boy.

"I'm leaving! I don't want to argue with you anymore."

Before Jack could respond, Hiccup had already left out the door, tears finally slipping out, though refusing to let anymore fall.

He was too mad to even think about talking to Jack for a while. He had broken his promise about drinking any alcohol, because Jack knew or so he thought he knew what alcohol meant for Hiccup.

The reason why Hiccup despises alcohol so much was for several reasons.

Several years ago, when Hiccup was still a toddler, his mother was driving home from work at night, but never made it due to being hit and driven off the road by a drunk driver. She had died hours after the accident, but was never even in an ambulance. The drunk man was caught miles down the road and someone else saw the skid marks of two vehicles before the broken side rail. After investigating, the cops had connected the dots.

Almost two years ago, a young, drunk male was torturing his cat with a large knife because he thought that it'd be fun. Hiccup had managed to save him in time but ended up making his best friend a prosthetic because the guy cut Toothless's leg off. After all this time, Hiccup cannot get the painful cries of the cat out of his head.

Reason number billion he hates alcohol: Whenever his uncle drank too much, which was often, he would become abusive both physically and verbally. Not only was it bad on him, but it was bad for Hiccup's cousin Snotlout. He ended up being raised by a man who was drunk ninety-nine percent of the time and made him into the guy he is today: Abusive even when he was sober.

Another reason: Hiccup did want to say that this was one of thethe worst ones, but he can't even compare anymore!

During a Christmas party his father was hosting, a family friend was invited to stay the night, so because the two men, his father's work friend, and the son, didn't have to drive home that night, they drank their night away. Later that night, Hiccup's father and his friend were passed out downstairs, which gave the perfect opportunity for the son, Dagur, to sneak out the backyard where Hiccup was sitting. Whether or not it was the alcohol talking, Dagur claimed to love him. Telling him that he didn't feel the same way, Dagur locked the door from the inside, and told him "After what I do to you, Hiccup, you'll love me for sure. You'll see. I'll make you love me." Those words have yet gone away. Hiccup still had scars from when Dagur tried to take his clothes off, and the scar just on the side of his jaw was the teen's sharp nail digging in his skin as he forcefully kissed Hiccup. His only solution was to play it out until Dagur's guard was completely down. That was the most difficult and disgusting thing he has had to ever do, but he managed to give him a low blow before running off the porch. He had been grabbed by the ankle, causing him to fall partly on the steps and partly on the ground. At that moment, Toothless came to his rescue, giving a nice big scar right on the side of his face, and the two ran for the forest just behind the Haddock's house.

He was sure to escape and hide there as he knew the forest well enough to know a small cave ten minutes away. Not exactly a perfect place to spend the night in, but beyond lovely if that meant not "making love" with Dagur.

….. And then there was his father. He had become an alcoholic when his mother had died by an alcoholic. Which makes Hiccup mad every single time Stoick drinks. It just doesn't make any sense. It's just- He can't believe- … It just… It hurts Hiccup every. Single. Time someone close to him drinks and memories of his mother's death spills in his mind. He was definitely a mama's boy. He loved his mother.

He should say though, Stoick wasn't really a dangerous man when he became drunk. He was more of the calm, truthful type. Which probably was worse than his uncle in his opinion. Mainly because it was his father. Everything he says, means something.

During those times, Hiccup had learned that his father was ashamed of him when he decided to share the fact when he was drunk. It was also when he learned that he had wish he was either a girl or someone like his cousin. Someone that carried on the Viking like genes. That he wish he could do something better in this life than art. Something more manly like fighting, or something stupid and reckless such as wrestling; He wished Hiccup could be useful to the family like bringing the family name some sort of honour by bringing home trophies like Snotlout does every so often.

But apparently, the most shameful thing about him was his sexuality. Hiccup being gay changes everything. It wasn't like he was open about it. Stoick only found out because he was leaning against Jack as the two watched a movie at his house while Stoick shouldn't have been at home for another hour. Then everything Hiccup normally does makes it… Wrong. His normal routines. Cooking suddenly became 'a woman's' role only when Hiccup did it. Sitting outside on the porch wasn't normal any more. Everything now was different.

All of that has happened in his life all because of alcohol. It only brought him misery in his life and he couldn't stand it. He knew that not everyone was like this, but it hasn't done him any good at all. It hasn't done anybody any good as far as he's concern.

And so when Jack, the person he loved most in his life, had done the thing he hated more than anything. It crushed him. It broke his heart and he felt betrayed.

What if he had cheated on him by accident while drunk or got himself or others killed? What if he became abusive like his uncle? Or even like his father? There are so many "what if's" that he couldn't bear to think about it anymore. The thoughts ran through his mind as he lay in bed with Toothless.

Toothless sensed his troubles as he curled himself against Hiccup, flinching awake every time the boy's phone would vibrate.

Hiccup ignored the calls and messages he kept receiving from his best friend Astrid. She probably found out from Jack what was going on and probably wanted to know if they were broken up. After all, she was the one who brought the two together. She helped Hiccup every step of the way and pretty much became his spy, making Jack tell her what kind of person he likes basically.

Honestly, Hiccup didn't know anymore. He was just tired of being abused, cheated on and thrown away. Sure he should really talk to Astrid about all this and cry to her, but knowing her, she would try to bring them back together. Defend Jack. Tell him how much Jack was sorry probably. Or tell him that "Not all people are like that, Hiccup." He was so sick and tired of hearing that statement!

But no. He was angry. And he was done.

Several days went by without talking to anybody. Hiccup was glad that it was summer break so he wouldn't have to be forced to interact with anyone during school. He even went as far as not answering the door when he knew Astrid had come over. Good thing his dad was never home anymore.

With nothing else to do, Hiccup went into the garage to work on one of his inventions only to find it in the trash once again.

"Dad must have thrown it away because he couldn't throw me away." Hiccup mumbled, taking it out of the trash. Stoick thought it was a waste of money. He scoffed at it because it was a lot better than wasting money on a stupid drink that will make you ruin other people's lives.

As he continued to think about everything, he became so angry. Making an endless list of reasons why alcohol was stupid. How many people have hurt him. How many times his father hurt him. How hurt he was when Jack broke his promise.

With everything adding up, he couldn't help himself. He needed to hit something. Perfect time to use a hammer too.

Pounding the first nail loudly and constantly, Hiccup's anger and heart-broken feelings began to come out. He pounded and pounded the hammer against a nail. By the second one, tears blurred his vision slowly, causing him to smash his finger on the third nail.

"That's what you get for using tools while angry." Hiccup turned around to see Jack standing behind him. He had forgotten that he was the only person who knew Hiccup hid a key to the garage door under a flower bed.

He scowled. "I have the right to be angry. What are you even doing here!? Shouldn't you be at a party getting drunk doing who knows what else?" Hiccup scoffed angry. "Maybe getting hit on by girls and finding them attractive under stupid influences?" He turned his back, not wanting to see the betrayers face.

Jack sighed, rolling his eyes before softening his look. He walked over to Hiccup, gently turning him around slowly, unlike their last encounter. He slid one hand down Hiccup's arm and into his hand, using the other one to lift his head up to look at him.

Hiccup immediately jerked his head out of Jack's hand and violently pulled his hand away.

"Hiccup, I'm really sorry for what I did. I really wasn't thinking."

"…Before or during?" Hiccup crudely said, obviously still angry at Jack.

He sighed again, trying not to be angry. He had to do this carefully. "I promise I won't do it again. Ever. You are more important to me than alcohol will ever be."

Hiccup really felt bad for wanting to not except the apology, but he honestly missed Jack over the past couple of days even though he was way beyond pissed off with him. Hiccup was just really scared that it will happen again, and that if he accepted the apology it will come back at him to bite him.

"I regret doing it now." Jack continued, seeing how Hiccup was still unsure. "I was selfish and now that… Now that I almost lost you, I just- I couldn't believe how stupid I was. I don't ever want to lose you, Hiccup…. I love you. I'm willing to give up anything if it means being with you."

Now that's what got to him. This is the guy he fell in love with. His feelings and everything poured out to Hiccup. Being truthful and promising. Still he was scared, but he felt more reassured than before… But what if he was being lied to again? What if it all happens again or-

"Please Hiccup, I really need you. I love you and I feel really crappy for what I've done to you. I'm so sorry." Jack's voice cracked, and that's when Hiccup noticed that Jack's eyes were filled with tears that were ready to spill out. "Say something. Please?"

Hiccup breathed in deeply, placing the balls of his hands in his eyes. "You promise not to do it again?" Hiccup chocked out. All of his anger and frustration that had built up finally spilled out at once.

This sight broke Jack's heart, knowing that he had done this. He had made Hiccup cry over for something so stupid he has done. He hurt him. Oh did he hurt him horribly and he knows he will regret it for a long, long time.

He immediately pulled Hiccup into a tight hug. He held on and engulfed him in fear of losing him. Like he felt as he did during those few days he was without Hiccup. He thought he'd lost him. He thought he screwed everything up and broke Hiccup's heart so much that he wouldn't let him come back into his life again.

His tears finally fell out uncontrollably."I promise!" Jack wept, burying his face in Hiccup's shoulder as the younger boy pounded his fist on his chest. It hurt Jack, but he didn't care. It's what he deserved for hurting his beloved even more.

 _ **So um... Yeah... Another one of these fanfics where I write down my anger and such. Yeah. Sorry. Also out of country, yay. Thanks for reading.**_


End file.
